Interpreter of Dreams - that's me.

I may become an interpreter of dreams. Sounds like a fascinating service to people. Joseph from the twelve tribes of Israel did; also Daniel who was thrown into the Lion’s Den. Of course there were times when they did reveal the meaning of dreams, they were punished for it.

Maybe interpreting dreams for others isn’t such a good idea after all. People want to hear good things concerning themselves and their future and dreams, I’ve learned, may not always have a pleasant meaning. So I’ll stick to analyzing my own.

Several years ago I was distraught over my children leaving home, thus not needing me anymore. My dreams became uncomfortable. Many nights I woke up in agitation, cold and feeling miserable to the point of tears. The dreams kept occurring - they were always the same. I found myself in a big unfamiliar house, empty of furnishings. There were cracks in the old wood floors, the window panes were broken. I somehow knew my children were older, yet there were little children I was responsible for. In each dream they crowded around me, cold and shivering only to get warm and squirm until they got up to play again. In each dream I wrapped my long dress around them as we huddled in a corner of the big room with its tall ceilings. I tried to assure them everything would be all right - “soon we will find our way and be out of this situation.”

At this point in the dream, I’d wake up. It was always during the early hours of the morning, not time to get up and face the day. I would always reach for the covers hoping to relieve the chill I felt deep in my bones and try to drift off to sleep again, the disturbing dream still permeating my sleep deprived brain.

Time passed, and yet again the same dream, with little variation returned to disturb my sleep only days later. Eventually I was able to give meaning to the dream.

I was having difficulty with my “little ones” flight from my nest. I had not pushed them out as the Mother birds do. It was only natural they find their way in this world and become successful. Yet I was feeling there was something else I might could say, or do to prepare them for the stark and harsh world that would not always be kind. Had I sufficiently prepared them? Would they make it without my direction?

Unintentionally, I was still giving them advice, still trying to direct the choir, or in my case the quartet. When I saw them making a choice without consulting me, I panicked only to cause misunderstanding and often hard feelings. I still wanted to be the director, the teacher, or the advisor. I did not like the idea they “needed me less” now they knew how to walk on their own.

After almost a year of the recurring dream, along with much thought and prayer, the Lord showed me the meaning of my dream.

The old drafty house  with its tall ceilings was the world - the unfamiliar world they were entering into. Naturally it would have worn floors, and broken window panes. It was old and imperfect.

I was there with them, yet my abilities could not meet their need. There was not enough fabric in my dress to cover them; my arms were not long enough to hold them close to my body. They kept wiggling out from under my cover, or turning loose of my hand.  They did come to me momentarily, only to get away again to explore.   I felt responsible to keep them safe from the darkness of the unknown and it was overwhelming me; it was getting too big for one.

The Lord helped me to realize, I was not supposed to keep them warm. Though I sensed they were small, in actuality they were not. They could keep themselves warm. They would make it. I had to get out of the old house that challenged me and let them go - keeping a watch from a distance. My responsibility was not to direct the quartet - but to listen and watch as they made it on their own taking what they had learned and making their own way with my blessing; Though it was not an easy task, having the understanding caused calm to return to my changing life.

From the day I understood, the dream has never returned.

Today I am dreaming another kind of dream. This time I may sleep until morning but my mind searches for the people who present themselves in my dream. They are familiar somehow, yet I can’t call them by name. There are always people coming and going, with little regard for me and my stumbling. My heart hurts, I want to cry out, yet people are so busy I hesitate to reach out.

A few nights ago however, I met a familiar man. To tell you what he looked like, I cannot. His face never materialized. In the dream I knew him, he knew me. I did not call him by name, it didn’t seem necessary. I had this overwhelming feeling of, “Awe, he found me. He is back.” In the midst of the crowd I felt  him smile as he reached for me. His broad shoulders and muscular arms embraced me without words. I can’t explain even now the effect it had on my whole being at that moment. I wanted to stay there. In a flash, there was no one in the room or on earth but him and me. Yet it was awkward for the moment. I sensed he had come to stay this time; that from now on he would not be very far away. So our embrace was swift, yet not condemning. 

There were crowds of people around me, all doing their own thing; paying no attention to me, yet my eyes kept looking for him. There may have been a moment when I could not see him, but momentarily he was there. And more likely than not, he would work his way through the crowd to where I was. Each time he held me again. Once in his embrace I had to take the chance of being rejected by saying something that had lodged itself on my tongue and was about to roll off my lips.

“I love you so much” I whispered as I buried my face in his shoulder, his arms encircled me, and I felt safeven accepted. Even though I wept I did not feel ashamed at the exposure to my weakness at allowing another to see me as weak. Several times during the dream, he embraced me and even though he never opened his mouth to verbalize any feelings he might have, somehow his finding me in the crowd and openly showing affection was enough, especially when he was unashamed to allow the crowd to see him with me.

The following night, I looked for him again before I went to sleep. I silently prayed he would return and embrace me again…..

I truly hope this isn’t the last time we meet in a dream. This is like a love story in which we want to know the ending. However for now, I think I have it.

Of course he was familiar. Of course he was strong and loving. For sure we were not strangers. For sure he will again come through a crowd, break down a wall if necessary, walk on water, and climb a mountain of what may be an obstacle/hurdle to me, just to let me know HE NEVER LEAVES ME NOR forsakes me, and too He is never far away.

Doris

August 5, 2012

Songs I may sing at midnight.

Did Paul and Silas sing Praise songs or was it one of “Woe is me?”

I am starting to sing songs in the night. I have sung before I'm sure, but the recent days may have changed my song. I wonder if the song Paul and Silas sang when they were behind prison bars was a praise song, one of the Psalmist David who was often in the pits, or one of their own making. I gotta feeling, we all sing different songs which express our feelings at the time. Maybe according to how long the sun has been set and how dark the night has become.

I call myself strong. One of my failures is little patients with others though. How could I be so impatient with others, when I myself make so many mistakes it is embarrassing to have to admit? Perfectionist I am not. Get the job done the best you can is my motto. It may not be done to someone else's expectations, but as long as it passes my inspection, let it go. Life is short; in fact too short to simmer over things that won't matter 100 years from now.

I'll still confess I am a strong person. I've had to be. Life has made it necessary. Another word for strong is resilient, and durable. Now I like those terms. Again we do what we must do to survive, and durable has been my handlebar to get me this far. Now I'll also confess, that my durability is an outward sign of a relationship I have with my Lord, for it isn’t in me to be strong all by myself.  I won't tell you of the times I have buried my face in HIS WORD, and left tear stains on the pages of my Bible. It is only after abandoning myself into His waiting arms that I can say I am strong because of His strength at work in me. The Apostle Paul said it best: 2Co_12:10   “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”  (at this time, only the words in red I can claim, not the rest - I’ve not learned to take pleasure…..in fact the real reading should be this:  “it is when I am in persecutions, or in need, or being reproached, or infirmed, that I truly have strength for Christ Sake who works in me”.  It is only then I rely on my handlebar of Faith. It is after all the storms are passed, and I am standing still that I realize I really am durable. 

My life is changing. Admittedly it has been since the day of my birth. However for the past couple weeks; changes are happening so fast my head is spinning. I haven't quite got my feet on the ground. This is one of those times of propelling myself into the path of His steps.

"I must have an audience with you O Father." I wail. "Do you know what is happening to us?" That is so silly!  Of course He knows what is going on in my world. He lives in it with me. DUH! He was with me yesterday when I got the official word that my husband, whom I affectionately call "Dad", is not well, hasn't been well, won't be well again in this life.

It was last year when I actually took notice. My thoughts have been tumbling around in my head, but could not verbalize my concerns for a while now. It seemed strange that he would ask each day for the first four days of our vacation where his clothes were. I had packed separate bags for us, and had him involved in the process of packing as much as he would. Yet it took him at least four days to remember where his PJ's and fresh underwear were packed. I was impatient and maybe even unkind that he could not remember from one day to the next the red bag held his vacation belongings. I jokingly said, “Your brain has gone to lunch!”

Since July last year there were more signs - several weeks or maybe even a month or so in between signs, but they were there and sure were puzzling to me. I had no earthly friend I could talk it over with (I didn’t think anyway). I did mention it to his primary care physician, and he passed it off as "I am forgetful sometimes too. It is just the aging process." Doctor's know everything, don't they? They are supposed to have a veneer of care for their patient don't they? The answer is an unequivocal NO they don’t.

So for the sake of repeating myself, I just got mad, and didn't help matters for sure.  However things took on speed about three weeks ago.

He had a heart cath. by a new (to us) cardiologist a couple Thursday’s ago. When the Doctor came to the family room to speak to me and my son Greg who was with me, he told us he found nothing wrong with his heart. The past surgeries he had had look good still, the stents were still in good shape. However he dropped a question on us that caused us pause. I looked at my son, who had looked at me and together we looked back at the Doctor. "Does Mr. Thompson have dementia?" He asked with concern.

I told him of my apprehensions but confessed I felt I had nowhere to turn. I did not know who could answer my gnawing questions. Greg and I began comparing notes and I shared with him some of the latest things that had caused me alarm.

Then yesterday, we got a solid answer; as solid as an answer can be without an MRI., which by the way is being scheduled for hopefully one day next week. We saw another new Doctor, a neurologist.  I did not like him talking so plain and truthful in Dad’s presence.  But I did not try to stop him.  After much verbal testing, he stood up and gave us his diagnosis, but promised he would do an MRI.  “I don’t want him driving anymore, and someone else must prepare his meds for him…….”

Today, he could not remember how to pump gas into the car. I told him I would handle it. His driving days are over. That grieves him.

Yes, I'm beginning to sing a midnight song. Right now it is one of "Lord, can I make it? Are you sure I'm up to the task?"  My song will change in time. The overwhelming feeling of helplessness and finality is a lot for my pea brain to absorb and I haven’t gone there yet.  I am trying to cope with all the changes that will be taking place in our lives in the recent future.  

As for now and tomorrow, I am also sure there will be a few more tear stains on my trusted Bible. Especially on the Hebrews 13:5 ".....I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Doris

August 2, 2012

Somewhere over the Rainbow.

I read a face book comment today about her take on the news.  It seemed watching the news was not something she does as a rule, however she had watched enough yesterday to set her mind to racing.  Her statement was "I'm glad I live in la-la land", and I had to laugh because I know the one writing the entry. 

My take on the news is this.  It is gloom and doom and if I weren't settled that many things must come to pass before Jesus return, I could easily wish I lived "somewhere over the rainbow" myself. 

Paul warned young Timothy that Perilous times would come.  King James version of II Timothy 3 reads like this.  2Ti 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despise rs of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."

For those more familiar with other translations, read it from the Good News Bible.  Same chapter and verses of 2nd Timothy.
Remember that there will be difficult times in the last days.
People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, and irreligious;
they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good;
they will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God; they will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. Keep away from such people.
Some of them go into people's houses and gain control over weak women who are burdened by the guilt of their sins and driven by all kinds of desires,
women who are always trying to learn but who can never come to know the truth.
Paul's words to Timothy continues.  He told him that "evil" would continue.  His actual words were:  "But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived" The warning to you and I is this: "But as for you, continue in the truths that you were taught and firmly believe. You know who your teachers were, and you remember that ever since you were a child, you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus."The urgency is on me to tell/exhort/preach/teach the truth of the times in which we live.  We live in a time unlike any other and it could be a scary time.  However when we heed the warning of our teachers, our leaders, the Holy Ghost our first teacher, we will understand why these times must be.  It is a time of preparing our hearts to accept that we are living in perilous times - a day we were warned about in Scripture that would surely come.  It is not meant to scare us into hiding, or living in denial, but a great time of preparation when we actually run to the "Shelter in time of storms".  We run to the "Rock of Ages".  It is a time to allow the Lord to gather us together "under His wings" as we do our children when there is danger.  We allow the Lord to hide us in His bosom until these calamities are over and we are safely in His care.  We cannot run from Him during these troubled times.  We must run TO HIM.Yours for Christ and intercession,Doris

 

Spirit of Prayer

Since the early 1950's I have learned one lesson well.  The Lord God of Heaven is concerned with the affairs of man.  With that sobering thought, I write today.

For several days my tears have come by the blink of an eye.  Also my spirit has troubled me about praying.  For whom I don't always know, however the urgency from the Spirit has been enough to move me to action. 

I love how the Lord speaks to us through the Holy Ghost to do His bidding.  I find that when I do not know who I'm praying for, the Spirit does.  The verse from Rom_8:26 bears this out.   "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." 

Did I say I love that verse?  How precious when the Lord God saw there would be times our limited vocabulary would keep us from bringing our petitions to Him.  He made a way - by His spirit living in us - to do our praying for us. 

For that reason the Holy Ghost is nothing to be afraid of.  We must embrace the Holy Ghost as our gift from a Holy God that said in John 16:13,  "Howbeit when He, the Spirit of truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth:..."

Sad, the Holy Ghost is rarely spoken of in some circles who once embraced the powerful part of the trinity at work in the world today.  When the Holy Ghost came after Jesus Ascension into Heaven, the Lord told us His indwelling would be for this reason:  "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth."   Acts 1:8

Along with the "great commission" the Lord God knew we mere human beings would need more than our intellect to spread the Gospel of Jesus around the neighborhood and the world.  So, it appears He had a plan from the beginning for us to have help.

Maybe this blog today is for you and I to check ourselves!  Could it be we have not embraced the Holy Ghost (the Holy Spirit) as we should?  Could our lack of personal evangelism be due to our misunderstanding that spreading the Gospel (Good news) is left up to a few?  Have we been called to prayer lately only to come before the Lord and not know who we are praying for nor whom?  Do we always have to know for whom we are praying?

It is great when we know - however it is still great when we don't know.  Being obedient to the call of prayer, the Lord sees our heart in wanting to intercede.  However He always welcomes the Holy Ghost to pray in our stead so He Himself can set things in order to get our prayers answered.

Yours for God's service
Doris

What can it mean?

What can it mean? Is it aught to Him,
That the nights are long and the days are dim?
Can He be touched by the grief I bear,
Which saddens the heart and whitens the hair?
About His throne are eternal calms
And bliss unruffled by any strife--
How can He care for my little life?

And yet, I want Him to care for me,
While I live in this world where sorrows be!
When the lights die down from the path I take,
When strength is feeble and friends forsake,
When love, and music that once did bless,
Have left me in silence and loneliness,
And my life song changes to sobbing prayers,
Then my heart cries out for a God who cares.

O wonderful story of deathless love!
Each child is dear to that heart above;
He fights for me when I cannot fight;
He comforts me in the gloom of night;
He lifts the burden, for He is strong;
He stills the sigh and awakens the song;
The sorrow that bears me down, He bears,
And loves and pardons, because He cares.

Let all who are sad take heart again;
We are not alone in our hours of pain;
Our Father stoops from His throne above;
To soothe and quiet us with His love;
He leaves us not when the storm is high;
And we have safety, for He is nigh;
Can there be trouble, which He doth not share?
Oh, rest in peace, for the Lord will care!

--By Marianne Farningham

Christians Under Construction

We were within 30 minutes or so of landing in Nashville, TN.  that day.  Coming from a trip out of the country, I was nearing home and Nashville would be a short stop over.  The sky was clear and from my lofty position I could scope the entire town and beyond with a sweep of my eyes, with only a few clouds spotting the sky. I love setting at the window seat, for I always searched for familiar sights below, trying to recognize the L & C tower in this case.

In my years of travel, I’ve flown over mountains, fields, cities, oceans, rivers and streams. After awhile everything begins to look the same. Blocks of land outlined by trees or fences or streams, make a picture that resembles a patchwork quilt. However…on this flight, my eyes caught sight of what looked like a pile of rubble. I searched intently for anything that would tell me a tornado or storm had passed through the area.

As the plane continued to circle the city waiting for clearance to land, I realized what I was seeing from my high perch was a building sight. Houses or maybe apartment buildings were under construction. The debris was piles of lumber, roofing shingles, sacks of nails, cement mixer and bags of concrete mix. It was a hodgepodge of material waiting for the builder when he needed them in constructing a beautiful home where the walls would eventually ring with laughter; It would eventually become a place some one called home.

Having come from a Talk and Prayer retreat, my mind was receptive to a spiritual lesson of sorts.

"So that is how it is”, I mused comparing our life to that of the building site. We are Christians under construction. I wonder if God sees us in our state of incompletion with rubble around us. Has He placed the necessary equipment around us to complete the finished product?  Is this how we must look in our unfinished state, a pile of rubble?

Even though you and I  are in an unfinished stage of our Christian walk- rest assured that God has the blue-print. He is the master builder and He knows how to bring all the material into our lives for us to become the finished product He has designed. Others may see us as rubble, and wonder how we will ever amount to anything. That’s OK. Ephesians 2:10 says “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus…”, and the finished product will be just like the blueprint if we cooperate with the Master Builder.

Yours for Christ,
Doris

How Long?

I was reminded today of a song, my family and I sang many years ago.  It is amazing the old hymns and southern gospel songs of the past that reverberate in my mind occasionally.  I believe each time I heard the song it ministered to me.  Here are the words.

How Long, How long, til I reach the end of my valley?

How Long, how long, til I sing a triumphant song?

Although my tears may endure for a night,

Joy will come in the morning,

So let the winds blow, the storms come and go

I'll make it no matter how long.

The verses refer to the story of Job - his being turned over to Satan to be tested, and the victory that came when Job declared "Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him." 

We can find ourselves singing this when our trials seem to last longer than we think they should.  It is inevitable we will be tested according to the 1st Peter 4:12, "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: "  We are told that trials must come so as to strengthen us.  During testing times, we have to trust in THE ONLY ONE that can help.  We find Him in our tests.  Job's faith went deeper and deeper to sustain him during his most trying times.  When he was whole, he had his children, his wealth, his health he could easily have said "I'll trust God, oh yes I will." 

However his words weigh much now that we know his story, especially when we measure them against his statement during the severe trial and testing.  I admire Job.  It is difficult to fathom just how God could allow Satan to have his way with Job, and we pray it never happens to us.  However coming through

1.  Job  learned to ask questions of God.  God didn't smite him for asking them. 
2.  Job learned that each man must stand for himself.  To sacrifice to God for our children, takes the responsibility away from them, and they never learn the true friendship they can have with God. 
3.  Job learned to pray for his friends
4. Job stood firm in his resolve, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."

I pray you are not having that kind of "night time of the soul".  I pray you can sing the last couple lines with fervency "I'll make it no matter how long!"

Doris